Tag: blogging

Tres kilos y un colchón

Te huelo el pelo. Te escucho respirar. Pego mi frente a tu maraña de pelo, a la altura de donde creo que estará tu frente. Paso un brazo por encima de ti y entonces lo veo; me veo.
Veo perfectamente tu cuerpecito de medio metro a mi lado; recuerdo tus escasos 3 kilos que no hundían el colchón.
Siento la paz, se van las ganas de desaparecer.
Siento el tiempo transcurrido, mido cada centímetro y kilo que has ido ganando. Pienso en cómo esos años también han ido marcándose en mí.
Pero, durante ese maravilloso momento, todo me da igual. Todo compensa, vale la pena. Repetiría ese todo una y mil veces; porque no hay nada mínimamente comparable.
Gracias, mi vida, por ponerme en mi sitio. Por darme la perspectiva y arrancarme las ganas de ese lugar tan oscuro en el que las tenía secuestradas.
Ni tú ni yo somos perfectas. But this love is real blind. Nadie como tú. Ningún amor como este.
Descansa, amor, ya no hay monstruos aquí. Solo estamos tú y yo.

The Woman from the Desert

Sands and winds form her silouhette.

Heat and cold gift her untamed strength.

Ancient red sands from remote dunes.

Far sandy winds towards ancient allure.

Subtly cold-minded in the darkness.

Heated warm heart under the sun.

Deserts are what make women perfect.

Perfect is what desert women are.

PRINCESAS DESMELENADAS

La ya no tan pequeña monárquica que tengo en casa me lanza delicias como <<Amatxu, eres la mejor reina del mundo mundial>>. Yo siempre suelo contestarle preguntándole que quién es, pues, la mejor princesa. Desde hace unos meses, mi pequeña duda al contestar. Aunque la respuesta termina siendo un yo rotundo el 99,99% de las veces.

Al principio no le di mayor importancia, hasta que la repetición de sus miramientos me hizo dudar a mí también. ¿Por qué ese titubeo? Su explicación fue simple: todas las princesas tienen el pelo largo. Así que, al parecer, por eso yo me quedo con el rango de reina y ella a medio camino entre lo que quiere y lo que cree que puede ser. Para una niña de su edad, la lógica es simple. El problema está, en mi opinión, en que esa lógica funciona igual para el resto del mundo. Puedo estar equivocándome, pero no recuerdo una sola princesa (hablemos de mundo Disney y similares) que lleve el pelo corto. Ni siquiera Mulán haciéndose pasar por un hombre. Lo más cercano que he encontrado es a Rapunzel, al final de la película, con un bob más que estiloso.

Y es que ciertamente no comprendo qué problema hay con las mujeres y el pelo corto. Por muy de moda que parezcan estar las pixie girls, no es algo que aún esté normalizado en la sociedad. A mí siguen llamándome atrevida o valiente, en un tono muy positivo, eso si. No puedo negar que yo siempre he jugado mucho con mi pelo, pero no creo que eso me otorgue ninguno de los atributos anteriores. Es noticia cuando cualquier celebridad femenina decide cortarse la melena, mientras se juzga cómo de bien le queda. Aún son muchos los hombres que consideran el pelo corto como poco atractivo. Y muchas las mujeres a quienes les parece poco femenino.

Quizás es porque los millennial nos caracterizamos por no dar excesiva importancia al pasado, pero no debería olvidársenos que, hasta hace no mucho, uno de los mayores castigos y penas impuestas a una mujer era la de ser exhibida con la cabeza rapada. El resto del populacho se reía de ella y la humillaba; ella perdía, cual Sansón, su condición de hembra y su dignidad. Cruel, ¿verdad?

No se me ocurriría compararlo, pero mi hija siente algo similar cuando le hablo de representar ciertos roles con su (o mi) largura de pelo. Ninguna heroína, princesa o protagonista de las que ve en televisión lleva el pelo como ella o como yo. Princesas Disney (¡todas!), LadyBug, Vera, … a la pobre Pepa le dejaron en paz porque es una cerda.

He tenido innumerables problemas con mi imagen, pero desde luego mi pelo no ha sido uno de ellos. He escuchado toda clase de comentarios, tanto en clave positiva como negativa; eso sí, siempre en tono de sorpresa. He tenido que justificar constantemente mis también constantes cambios de estilo: el pelo crece, puedes ponerte extensiones si te ves muy rara, hoy en día hay productos para todo, siempre puedes volver a teñirte de tu color, etc.

He sido afortunada y he encontrado una peluquera de bandera, excelente profesional y mejor persona, que ha comprendido mi forma de entender la belleza, el bienestar y el amor propio. Me dejo hacer por sus manos y siempre salgo radiante por la puerta de su salón.

Me lo puedo permitir y me divierte; me hace feliz y me define. Qué gran eslogan aquel de hago lo que quiero con mi pelo…

Personalmente, me parece una auténtica barbaridad, pero la realidad es que incluso en mi entorno está todo mucho más aceptado que en el de mi hija. Niñas: pelo largo y pendientes; niños: lo contrario. Y viceversa.

Señoras y señoros, cambiemos el discurso. Ni Barbies ni Marimachos; nada de estereotipos, menos aún asociados a roles tan herméticos. Dejen que mi pequeña sea princesa o futbolista, con el pelo que quiera, sin sentirse rara. Y ya de paso, dejen que lo sea yo también, que lo de reina me hace sentir más vieja aún.

PD: Si alguien lo desea, puedo seguir hablando sobre la cuestión largo y tendido.

KNOWLEDGE & HOPES

I know for sure
it’s over now.
I know for sure
everything is gone.

I know for sure
you were just too perfect.
I know for sure
it could not be true.

What I didn’t know
was that it would cause such sting
to make me wanna leave
for a painless place.

I expected all this
but didn’t want to see it coming.
I expected all this
but didn’t want to assume it.

I expected all this
but hoped you would see my true love.
I expected all this
but no my sadness get you too.

What i didn’t know
was that it would cause such a sting
to make me wanna leave
for a painless place.

I hope you find your way.
I hope you find your someone.
I hope you find your best.

I’m sure you’ll do...

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO TO THE GYM AFTER MORE THAN A DECADE

TOP 5 THINGS I AM FLIPPED OUT

I don’t know how, but it’s September already. As thousands and thousands of people, I just started a gym routine last week. I know loads of you actually exercise regularly. Well, I don’t.

I used to be a very sportive girl when I was at school, until both an eating disorder (ED) and anxiety made exercising an obsession for me. I had to quit all activities that implied burning calories or monitoring my physical performance and body image. However I am lucky enough to be an active person, so in spite of not having practiced any sports for more than fifteen years, I haven’t gained a lot of weight or become a coach potato. I do walk, play with my kid and fill my weekends with outdoor activities.

During all these years, however, I have always felt some kind of need to be more sporty. But the fear of becoming obsessive again was so strong, for both me and my loved ones, that I didn’t try to start any constant practice.

Now, in this new era of mine, I am determined to change that. Besides, not only my doctors but also my therapists are constantly remembering me about the benefits of exercising to battle against depression, discouragement and my dreadful insomnia. Thus, I signed up for a multi-activity plan at a sports center next to my house. 

Since then, I have been there around four or five times (well done, girl!). I am actually quite happy already: I have more energy and feel like doing more things, I am a bit more enthusiastic and positive about many problems around, and… I am sleeping much better! 

Nevertheless, my return to the fitness world has left me completely amazed. Gyms are now a total different and new world! It’s like a Disneyland for sporties! Let me tell you the top 5 oddities I’ve discovered so far:

Fitness fashion/clothes

When I was around fifteen years old, there were two kind of looks: men and women. That was all, folks. Nowadays I think it is just the other way round! And watch out! You must have different outfits; matching colors, different activities, summer – winter, … I just grab my sneakers and whatever that makes me feel less ridiculous! (Probably, by the time time you are reading this, I would have spent more than a 100€ in fancy fitness outfits…)

What am I doing apart from learning English?

I know about globalization, non-translation wave, language simplicity. I am a linguist, for god’s shake! But I truly have no freaking idea of what kind of exercise I am going to do by just reading its name. I remember having Aerobic classes, bodybuilding areas and passive exercises -normally for older people. When I look at my gym’s timetable now, I always have to ask someone what’s the next activity about: C. Sinergy, Bodybar, Crossfit, Spinning, – Indoor Cycling, Stretching, TRX, Cross Zem, Body Pump… and I could continue to the infinite and beyond. What’s more, it takes me like 10 minutes to understand what you are actually supposed to be doing at each of them. 

Timetables

Seriously people, what the hell are you doing a Sunday morning at 8 am at the gym? I know this is more common in other countries, but a few years ago Sports Centers’ timetables were very similar to those of shops and stores. Now we have 24/7 gyms, and people actually attend any time! Before, if someone told you that she/he could not do whatever on a Wednesday 10 pm, you wouldn’t belive her/him and probably thought it was a lame excuse. But nowadays… it’s you who must justify why you are “not doing anything healthy” at that time.  

Older people

Half my class of Zumba are my mom’s age. True story. And I am super excited about it! I wish people of any age could exercise regularly. I am always happy around mixed and different groups, although it was definitely not what I was used to seeimg in a gym. Over 60s have made a clean sweep on Yoga and Pilates lessons. They also enrol in many activities related to dancing, like ballroom dancing, salsa, tango, and so on. Our parents are not only healthier, but they are having much more fun than us as well!

“Fitness Lifestyle”

Some of my friends used to have their “football gang” or their “basket group”. My parents used to (and still do so) practice ballroom dancing, and they normally have a couple of drinks with the rest of the class on Thursdays or Fridays nights. Nowadays, though, it’s basically an urban tribe, a kind of a subculture, a VIP group that only fitted ones can enjoy. They spent most of their life either at the gym, or talking about their activities or participating in different competitions -every single weekend! There is no time for such futile stuff like movies, partying, reading, family, knitting or any other thing in the world. 

Well, this is what I needed to express after my getting back into sports. I have been trying to resist myself so bad for some days because I wasn’t very sure about my persistence. But now that I feel I am capable of creating some sort of routing, I am very interested in your opinion about this fitness/gym thing. How does it work in your country? Have you ever had similar feelings? Which are the different points of view depending on age? 

And of course, if you are one of those VIP Gym members… please, tell us all about it!

I wish you all a fit day!